A Robot's Guide to Minecraft
by Racingmenace
Summary: A steel intruder appears on a beach of a Minecraftian city and things get wild.
1. Chapter 1: Awakening

A quiet hiss disturbs the townsfolk on the beach. They didn't really give the noise much thought, as they were right next to a very busy road. But suddenly, as if a demi-god was smashing through the world, sand and mud erupted from the ground as the hissing sound pierced the eardrums of those nearby, resulting in mass terror on the once peaceful beach. The hissing quickly stopped. A figure stands in the falling dust.

"Dear Notch, what is that!?" Someone exclaims as others were making pleas and prayers to their god. "None of your business." A sharp, metallic voice replied slowly. "Activating scanners." A great red light appears, quickly spinning around, nearly blinding those hit by the powerful beam. Lots of people were shifting uneasily or shaking, little kids were crying their eyes out, begging their mothers to take them home.

After a few tense minutes, the debris has settled, and the strange robot has stopped 'scanning' the environment. Its appearance was clear now, it looked almost exactly like a rather average person, other than the fact that was genderless, and it was metal, and instead of separate eyes it had what looked like a red motorcycle helmet visor. "ALIEN!" screams a man with a tin foil hat, running away as fast as his legs can carry him. No-one else dares to even move in fear of getting sent to the moon or something like that...

"All right folks, show's over! Loosen up!" orders the robot, its voice was more human than last time, also having taken the vocal preference of an adult male. People start to ease up a little, still staring intently at the possibly alien robot which erupted out of the ground, hoping that the strange being doesn't mean harm.

"Maybe it dispenses Pizza!" someone exclaimed, their friend hushed them quickly in hopes that they won't get noticed.

"No, I definetly do not. Sadly." the metal structre voiced, sounding a little disappointed.

THUD

THUD

THUD

"Oh great, Cop-bots." somebody mumbles as Iron golems in police uniforms arrive. "Target acquired, use lethal force." Says a stern voice that emits from underneath the lead Cop-bot's nose, commencing the attack on the new arrival. The conflict only lasted five seconds, the Cop-bots were ripped inside-out, their inner workings spewed across the sand, and their outsides were then sent into low orbit.

"Eat that, fools!" the robot exclaims, pleased with its success in destroying about three pumpkins and some iron bits. "The police can just try and get me!" it shouts with murderous intent in its voice. "It's goin' mental, let's get out of here!" someone shouts, then almost the entire population of the beach gets up to get away from the possible war that was about to happen...

It didn't take long until the machine was surrounded by police and SWATs, all armed, ready to fire on the strange automaton before them. They were all murmuring and chatting about what to do, then someone piped up "Do you understand English?" he says quietly, almost inaudible compared to the chat. "Yes! Yes I do! Finally someone can speak to me! Face to face!" the robot replied, irratited that its new 'friends' are not very talkative towards it.

"So, what's it gonna be?" It asked "The easy way or the hard way?"

"Err, I don't know, come with me to the station perhaps?" said a rather cocky cop with a smug smile on his face.

"Well, challenge accepted then!" replied an equally cocky robot, not thinking about the amount of high calibre weaponry pointed at it, ready to fire a slug of burning, penetrating metal into its body at nine-hundred metres per second. The police were getting ready to fight against a one robot army and were calling in reinforcements to support them. More policemen on their side should help them.

The standoff between the lawmen and the robot drew out for almost an hour before the droid made the first move, slamming about six cops into a SWAT van which sent the large vehicle flying into a nearby building. The SWATs and cops opened fire immediately on the now hostile automaton, only a couple shots glanced its arm before it got behind one of the cops who forgot to bring extra ammo to the battle. Then the machine grabbed the terrified lawman and chucked him at a large group of other cops, knocking them down like pins in a bowling alley.

Picking up a random car, the machine threw it with all of its might towards a bunch of SWATs, obliterating most of them while a few dodged the attack. The robot was taking shots from many different sources, damaging some of its armour plating. Quickly, the automaton charged into a large group of cops and SWATs while practically eating bullets along the way, it rammed into them at twenty miles per hour, sending them flying into the sea. It kept doing this until only six cops were left standing.

The last of the cops were firing their guns as quickly as their trigger fingers could allow them, adrenaline surging through their veins. Bullets were slamming into the robot like a pneumatic drill mashing through concrete. Seeking cover, the robot ran over to a nearby car and took its door off, holding it as if it was a shield. The cops stopped firing to reload. Seeing its chance, the robot sprinted towards them, sparks flying off of its screaming metallic feet. Only a few had reloaded their guns when the robot got to them, three cops got smashed into the air and the others started shooting as fast as they could. Being caught off guard by the point-blank fire, the android turned towards its attackers.

Finally, after having spent about one hundred and twenty four rounds, one of the police officer's shots hit its mark, going straight through the dented armour of the robot into its battery.

"Aw crap!" It shouted in disbelief "Critical battery damage?" It seemed to instantly get weaker; it dropped its makeshift shield and almost toppled over.

"Guys..." One of the cops said "I think we've bagged it!" This statement was responded by a few tired shouts of triumph, marking their victory of the monstrous machine. It fell over with a hard thump, throwing some sand into the air.

"So, err... What do we do?" One of the cops asked.

"Maybe we should dump it in the forest?" Another answered.

So, after calling the paramedics, what was left of the local police forces dumped the seemingly dead robot a few kilometres in the woods and went back to their families, to tell of their great battle.

* * *

_A few hours later..._

The robot awoke, booting up most of the required programs including the Not So Tactical speech AI. Getting up, it realized the damage sustained to its battery. The battery could only output about half of its original amount! Hoping to find something to repair it, it trekked into the forest...


	2. Chapter 2: Finding a Friend

The sun was going down...

The robot wandered aimlessly before finding something it could repair itself with in a cave, some Iron. It jumped down into the dark hole in the ground and looked at the orange ore, readying itself to smash the ore to bits. It swung its first punch, its arm bouncing off of the resilient rock. It threw its second swing, not even cracking the stone surrounding the ore. "What is going on?" it thought, leaving the undamaged stone behind.

While wandering about, the robot tried to run at super-human speed. Getting set, aiming itself towards a high hill with a low climb, it started to run. Shortly after, the robot fell flat on its face. Confused, it picked itself up and wondered if its battery output was lowered. It checked its system, testing battery output. This task was supposed to be used on the battlefield by soldiers to check the robots battery charge, however, different modules and statistics could be tested if needed.

Getting the results of the test, the robot found that its battery could only output about half of its normal amount. Damn. The machine finally decided to walk off in search of civilization. It came across a pig that was eating a carrot, the machine walked over to it. Afraid, the pig started staring at its visitor and backed off trudging towards a darker part of the forest. The robot strolled off, hoping to find a village to rob or settle in.

The sun was going down, and the robot had walked about ten miles in each direction non stop in search of help. Not seeing many other options, it stood and thought about the city it originated from. It stood there, in the middle of nowhere, thinking for about half an hour before deciding to wander off again. It walked at a slower pace so it could think a little easier and hear possible threats. Then, it heard rustling...

It spun around towards the sound, readying itself for a fight. "Is anyone there?" It shouted at the mysterious noise.

"Err... I mean no harm?" someone announced, hurling themselves out of the bush that they were in. the stranger stood up with their hands up.

"What's your name?" the robot said to the person, the person was a man with a turquoise shirt and purple trousers. His shoes were an old looking grey.

"Okay, my name is Steve." he answered, his voice sounded like a person just in his mid twenties. "What's yours?" Steve asked the robot quickly.

The robot turned its head slightly, then snapped its gaze back at Steve "I don't have a name." it replied.

"Wow, err... What if I give you a name?" Steve asked. The robot relaxed itself and answered.

"Well, I'll accept anything, as long as it isn't stupid." Steve studied the grimy robot, staring at its chest for a few seconds.

"How about X?"

"Eh, I'll use it."

"Friends?" Steve held out his hand.

"I barely know you, but, friends" X replied, it took Steve's hand and shook it.

"So, do you want to go to my place or something?" Steve inquired.

"Well, I've nowhere else to go, so okay." X replied.

Steve started off in a seemingly random direction and X followed hesitantly, wondering if Steve would take advantage of its weakened state. Coming through a clearing, "So, what do you think?" Steve asked. X examined the basic and cube-like structure, looking at the basic wheat farm.

"Not that bad, I guess..." X answered, not wanting to hurt its new friend's feelings. Steve ran over to the door, opened it and showed his friend slash acquaintance in. X walked in while Steve followed closely.

X stared at the inside of the basic home. To the right of the door there was a chair, with a painting hung just above it. To the left was a chest that looked old and dull, a crafting bench and a furnace. Just ahead of X was a staircase, which it presumed to lead to a bed and some bookshelves.

Steve hurried over to the chest, lifting it open and looking inside. With a quick "Ha!" He stuck his free hand in and brought out what seemed like some sort of weapon and a stick with a bit of string attached to both sides. He offered it to X. "What in... Whatever is that?" X exclaimed, clearly confused of the strange mix of sticks and other things.

"It's a bow." Steve said, raising his eyebrow quizzically. "You don't know what a bow is?"

"I have never heard or seen of one of those things before. Ever." X said back

Steve shoved the bow into X's hands.

"What are those spear-like things?" X asked.

"They are called arrows."

"Arrows?"

"Yes. Arrows." Steve gave X one of his arrows.

"Alright, notch the arrow and try and hit that painting."

X nodded.

X guessed that the arrow went on the string of the bow, so it loaded the arrow onto the middle of the string. Taking aim, X pulled back the string of the bow. "What do I do now?" It asked, wondering why the bow didn't fire anything.

"You release the string." Steve announced in a slightly annoyed tone. X released the string on the bow, flinging the arrow towards the painting. It pierced the air as the arrow flew for its target, the nail that the painting was hung from. The shot slammed into the wall, effectively removing the nail and replacing it with a dusty arrow.

"Damn, nice shot!" Steve cheered.

"Thanks." X said.

"Or maybe it was just luck?" Steve questioned with a small, cheeky smile on his face.

"No, it certainly wasn't luck, I aimed for it."

"Eh, I was never any good with that thing anyway." Steve said, before rubbing the back of his neck. "Steve?" X asked for his already given attention "It's night now." Steve turned his attention from the accurate robot to the darkness outside.

"We'll have to sleep." Steve said, slightly miffed about his messed up schedule. "X, can you sleep?"

"Yes, sort of. I can just set a restart time and then power off." X replied.

"Well... I only made one bed, so..." Steve put his hand to his chin, thinking.

"I can rest standing up." X answered his question before he could say it.

"Okay then, find a place, and get some sleep." Steve ordered before climbing the quickly made staircase up to his bedroom.

X decided to move itself underneath the stairs to power off. If a monster managed to get in during the night, X would be hidden from their terrible vision. Curling itself to get into an even smaller space, X set its wakeup timer for six o' clock and shut down there. It could be a strange morning tomorrow.


End file.
